Individual Relationship Counseling


The curious paradox is that when I accept myself as I am, then I can change.
— Carl Rogers

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Men* and Emotional Intimacy

If you're like most guys, you might have no idea what to do when your wife or girlfriend is asking you to open up to her. 

She always seems to want more from you and it's stressing you out because no matter what you do, you can't seem to make her happy. Which is making you unhappy.

You want to understand what she's asking for, how to access it, and how to express it.

How I Can Help:

I have seen in both my personal and professional life that most heterosexual men are at a real disadvantage in romantic relationships (and overall mental health) due to the fear of vulnerability and limited emotional tools they've been given. It's scary to let that guard down. And it's not something our culture encourages men to do.

But it's the secret to a happy relationship and life.

Pretty unfair, right? So I've made it a focus of mine to act as a coach or guide for the men who find themselves succeeding in other aspects of their lives, but struggling in their intimate relationships.

What does this look like?

  • We'll explore the problem and assess your family and relationship history to figure out what's going on and why.
  • We'll work together to come up with concrete goals you can achieve in a reasonable period of time.
  • We will then create a game plan for how you'll meet those goals.
  • We'll explore barriers and how to overcome them. 
  • I'll be teaching you the skills and behaviors necessary to achieve change in your relationship, while providing you with direct guidance, feedback, and support along the way.
  • You'll get compassion and understanding, along with a nonjudgmental behind-the-scenes look at the female perspective to help you better understand what your partner needs. 
* Ladies (both gay and straight) who struggle with emotional intimacy- I see you! Although it's more prevalent in men, I know many women (due to their childhood or relational wounds in adulthood) struggle with this as well. I can help you to access this part of yourself so you can reconnect with your partner as well as yourself.

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Dating 

 

Issues

You might be feeling depressed and discouraged because you still haven't met the right person for you.

Or as much as you'd like to be in a relationship, you might be avoiding dating all together because you're so worried about being rejected.

Maybe you've found yourself in relationships that have not been the healthiest and you're not sure why or what to do about it moving forward.

Dating can also bring up a lot of personal insecurities, trigger negative memories of past relationships, and fears of commitment. It's no wonder so many people feel overwhelmed by the process.

How I Can Help:

I specialize in working with couples, and guess what couples are before they meet each other? Singles! Why wait until you're in a committed relationship? Do the emotional work now, before you invest significant time and emotional energy in a relationship. When you fully understand yourself and what you're looking for in a partner, you have a greater likelihood of finding yourself in a happy and committed relationship down the line.

In our work together I will help you:

  • Clarify your core values
  • Explore your expectations surrounding relationships
  • Examine how your early models of relationships impact your choice of partner
  • Learn what you need to know to make good choices regarding a romantic partner.
  • Identify barriers (anxiety, low self-esteem, dependency, control, etc.) affecting your dating life, and provide you with the knowledge and skills to help you overcome them.

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Setting 

Boundaries

You feel like the needs and feelings of others come before your own.

It's as if your sense of self-worth is dependent on how helpful or accommodating you are. 

You can't say no, and if you do, the guilt is just overwhelming.

You keep your emotions bottled up, until you inevitably explode. Or you shut down and withdraw. 

How I Can Help:

When people think of boundaries they think of being rude or harsh. But in reality, setting boundaries for yourself is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself AND others. Without them, you're stuck feeling frustrated, drained, and resentful. It doesn't have to be this way.

In our work together I will help you:

  • Identify and become more aware of your feelings in relationship to others
  • Gain a better understanding of the barriers that are limiting your ability to set limits and boundaries 
  • Learn to recognize how boundaries are being crossed
  • Develop skills necessary to communicate needs and feelings
  • Work on establishing self-care strategies

Sessions are available in-person or online for your convenience.